Almost dead.

I think I must be suffering from some retribution. I must have been a very bad girl. Somehow or rather, I think I must have hurt someone else without knowing it and I am made to pay for my bad karma. For some reason, nothing ever seems to go smoothly in my life. Everything sucks and now my reputation has been ruined. I don even know why. I have never did what I was said to have done and I have never even hurt anyone and yet I was protrayed to be some slut, a witch who preys on men. I don even know that I was remotely capable of that!

I think I almost had a heart attack today. Literally. I was sitting on the bus on my way back home after getting some gastric medicine for my mum, her gastric problem is getting worse. And then halfway through the journey, my back felt numb. I had to close my eyes to let the sensation pass when I felt a sharp stab in my heart. I almost cried out loud in pain. It was real painful. After the pain passed, my entire left hand just went weak, limp and felt useless. I couldn’t even clench a fist. I was exhausted after that. And now, I felt really breathless, really out of breathe. Am I dying?

No matter how much I hate my life, I still want to live. I may have been always talking about dying and stuff like that but the fact remains that I still have a lot of unfinished business that I have yet to do. Experiences that I want to enjoy, people I want to meet, people I want to love and places that I have yet to go. So many things yet to finish, so little time. The sky is the limit, and the globe is my playground which I have not finish playing and exploring.

Perhaps its time I reconsider my priorties and adjust my vision.

Most of all, perhaps its time I pay the doc a visit.

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~ by blurfroggie on December 7, 2005.

9 Responses to “Almost dead.”

  1. I think u need to relax. I know its hard to ignore what people say, but try to ignore lah. No point getting angry.

    Her motive is to make you angry and see you fall. Therefore, you must stay strong and show her that you will not fall so easily.

    You can do it! Just remember, you have ur friends behind you, supporting you. Nobody is behind her. Nobody agrees with her actions. Let her die and rot.

  2. maybe youre experiencing anxiety attacks. it happens to people but you gotta see the doc about this and keep it under control while its still early yet. dont ignore it.

  3. Thanks guys.. 🙂

    I plan to see a doc about it soon. I don feel very normal now…

  4. Or panic attack…
    go see a doc, girl.

    Dont wait anymore.

  5. so… what’d the doctor say?

  6. I have not have time to see the doc yet… heh.. Actually i also have no idea if its a good idea to see a polyclinic doc or a specialist..

  7. go to the polyclinic first. the doc will assess you and send you someplace else if need be.

  8. Get it check soon. It is best to be checked within 24 hrs of suspected attack. Last I heard, after a real heart attack, a substance will be found in your blood and thus can be diagnosed if it really occurred. Else, the Doctor will run a short ECG test and will be able to determine.

  9. […] hope I do not get into this situation again, its too painful and I do not think I can withstand that kind of chest pain […]

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