Floating mass of shapeless feelings
Love is a very strange thing, the more you try to go in search for it, the more elusive it will be. And then when you least expected it, it just came like a whirlwind and hit you straight in the face by surprise. Sometimes its a pleasant surprise while other times, its quite a nasty shock.
What is love?
Perhaps its about giving and taking but ultimately when you love someone so much, you would want to give so much to him that you do not even mind hurting yourself in the process. Because you have already lost yourself in love, you don exist anymore, your existence is purely just for him and he is everything to you.
That said, the ultimate expression of love however is not to have but rather to let go. Many times I heard the expression that the more you hold and control, the more you will lose. Maybe this should be what love is about, to let go so whoever you love will be happy and free. Because, love is so elusive that its like water, you cannot hold on to water, the more you try to hold it, the more it will seep through your fingers and then you will be left with nothing, nothing at all.
And because you love him so much, it certainly hurt to let him go. But because at the end of the day, you just want to see a smile on his face that your hurt does not matter anymore, you just want him to be happy. To know that he is free and happy.
So you tell me, how can something so pretty and warm as love be so conflicting and enigmatic?
Maybe there are no true and concrete definitions of love, maybe its supposed to be like a floating transparent mass of shapeless feelings. Maybe thats why its so beautiful because there is no way to quantify and define it. Maybe thats why we humans are always so confused about how we should go about loving someone and how we should express our love. Maybe the best expression of love is just to take it easy, not rushing it, not forcing this floating transparent mass of shapeless feelings into a solid container in the hope that your love will give you the result that you want.
Because forcing it will just bring more tears and more pain.