How stupid some girls can be?

What would you do if you or a friend of yours got into the below scenario? For me, the exact thing happened to a close friend of mine and the rational side of me wanted to ask her to leave and walk away forever. The feminine side of me however understand how much its gonna hurt this poor girl and I thought better of that.

Ok, here goes.

She loves this man a lot and will do anything for him. She gave him everything, even her internet access! She always swallow her pride whenever she is with the man cos this idiot seems to like to belittle her.

The man however told her that its a one sided affair and is always very harsh with her. He never understand her and yet expects her to understand him. He even tells her to catch up if she cannot follow his thoughts. He is always very quick in telling her off for every single thing that she does wrong, minor things like not understanding him, not agreeing with his views etc. There are even times when he would tell her that she is being irksome when she tried to look him up. Or ask her to shut up whenever he likes it.

Ok, to cut the story short, he expect her to understand him and put up with his flaws and yet he never really care or bother if he should also be doing the same thing.

Now the million dollar question is, since he already told her that its a one sided affair, the most logical thing for me to do is to ask my friend to leave this man. This obviously a very unfair arrangement to her! Besides, the man was being real nasty by telling her that she is irksome. For goodness sake, no man in this world should ever tell a girl that, especially one whom she loves, thats just plain mean!

Yet on the other hand, I can tell that she really loves the man. Which girl in the right mind would lend someone else $5k if she never has any feelings for him?!

So now, ladies and gentlemen, I need to give some really good advice to my friend to knock some sense into this stupid friend of mine. She is constantly in a state of emotional pain that when I see already, I also shake head. On the one hand, I think it would kill her if I said she is being stupid and force her to leave this (fill-in-the-blank-yourself-cos-I-ran-out-of-words-to-describe-this-man) man, and yet on the other, I hate to hurt her further, she is real fragile at this moment.

 

 

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~ by blurfroggie on August 26, 2007.

14 Responses to “How stupid some girls can be?”

  1. If she can be knock into sense, she would already wake up by now. After so much, she still haven’t come to her sense, I guess there is nothing much we can suggest that can help her.

    Maybe only she can help herself. The question is, does she want to be help?

  2. Ask her to imagine getting married to that guy and still living in pain for the rest of her life, then consider the fact that if they ever have kids, her kids will suffer as well.

    If she’s that blind to the fact, nothing you say will help.

    Like what DK said, she’ll have to realize it for herself.
    But don’t worry, she’ll always start the “i can’t live without him” “i will die” kinda stuff but eventually, she’ll survive.

    What you can do now, is to emotionally tune out of her problems first. For you are getting too emotionally involved when helping her. If you don’t tune out, you’ll probably be the one emotionally drained and depressed.

  3. DK> I fully agree with you man… Obviously the guy is just using her to fulfil his material (money, internet access, etc) and emotional (ego, pride, etc) needs.. no love involved..

    Why should one keep on walking a track when you know endless pain and regrets are at the end of that track..

    Her life.. Her decision..

  4. Agree with DK. Sometimes in a relationship its really hard for us to tell someone its not worth it. cause she sees something we don’t. The only way is to wait and always stand by for her. The guy’s gonna leave he one day. A friend of mine had 3 abortion for her man. and not matter how bad he treats her.. she says she will stay with him till he ditch her. Its obsession. She is simply lost. find out the real reason why she choose to stay with such a jerk till today. Is it because she dunno what she will be doing without him around? or that she can’t imagine herself with another person after this one? Or she felt that she is able to change him one day?

  5. Maybe she doesn’t want to admit that this man is doing everything to belittle her. I had this friend who finally, after 6 years decided to break up with the same kind of guy. He even borrowed almost the same amount from my friend and never returned her the money when they broke up. His intention was to make it easy for him to look her up when he needs a spare tire.

    In other words, if she discovers that this man is making use of her when he’s out fooling around, would she decide to break off this one sided love?

    She’s dependent on him because she needs a man to pay attention to her. A pity because if she’s able to lend him 5k, she can obviously look after herself very well. And get back the money asap because that man use that leverage on her again.

  6. Please tell her to *f****** wake up please, I am in the same situation as her and still is and I am suffering every single day of my life with him, and my only wish is that he would go away and that a miracle can happen. I would go to bed crying every single nite thinking whats to happen to my fate, my case much worst he lay hands on me abuse me mentally, physically, emaotianlly and financially. Don’t wiat till shes married lilke my situationby then its way too late a syour d5reams and future will be completely destroyed by someone who is not even a human.

    Maya

  7. Sometimes it is best for he to hit the wall herself to realize how foolish she been but then again, as friends we cant just leave her as it is also.

    Bring her out alone, do some window shoppings etc etc .. and then go for a high tea somewhere where she can speak freely. Ask her where she sees herself, her family, that selfish dumbass man etc.

  8. DK, Xinyun, yea you are both very right, its all up to her..

    Maya, its nothing so serious. The problem here is she never feel appreciated at all. The man is nothing that violent, he just has a very bad temper and does not spare some feelings for her, which made her so sad.

    Paddy, I think she has already hit the all so many times that she has lots of bumps on her head already! She just prefers to listen to her emotions than her rationality, so I guess like what DK and Xinyun said, its really all up to her.

    Thanks guys for the advices, I think I know what to do now! ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. Like what the rest are saying, she is the only one who can do something about it. Nobody deserves this kind of treatment from anyone. If the guy loves her, he will not do this kind of thing to your friend. Maybe your friend is trying to cheat herself that maybe one day the guy will see how well she treats him and in turn loves her. It’s time for your friend to wake up from her dreams of things ever going to change. It will only get worse and not better.

  10. She is too emotional to think anything clear now. Just do whatever you can cos at times it is people like these that jump the buildings when the dumbass leave them high and dry feeling like crap.

  11. ZZ, yea you are right, it seems like the more she gives in to the guy, the more he takes her for granted. Maybe the best thing she should do would be just to leave him alone. Its time she understand that sometimes giving in is not exactly the best solution, she has to fight for her own happiness too. Things are not going to get better, I think it will come a time when the man is just tired of her cos she is too accommodating to him and will just leave her with a snap of fingers..

    Paddy, I would never allow her to jump off the building, thats too selfish already!

  12. It may be good that the guy end up leaving your friend since your friend can’t seem to be able to make herself leave him. If your friend ever leaves the guy successfully, maybe one day she will look back and think how stupid she is to do all the things for a guy who don’t deserve them. For christ sake think of all the verbal abuse he is hurling at her! She definitely deserves better than a jerk who treats her so badly.

  13. I’m looking at it very objectively here, so don’t flame me or anything.

    Perhaps the thing about this girl is that she has been abused when she was young, and that’s the only way she knows and terms as ‘affection’.

    Either that, or she just loves to wallow in emotional defeat and self pity. Because something screwed her up somewhere.

    Or she could be with the guy cause she’s given too much to him. Not believing in her self worth, she thinks that if she backs out of this relationship nobody will want her.

    Ultimately, you cannot help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. It may take them a few years to see the light, or they may never see it, but just stay true a a friend. That’s what she needs for now.

  14. Hi Aaron, welcome welcome to my humble blog!
    Don worry, I won’t flame you ๐Ÿ™‚
    I think her problem is that she has too much feelings for this guy already. Whatever the case, I think she kinda give up on the guy already cos she is too tired, just sad that things turned out like this after so long, after all, they did spend some wonderful times together once.

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