A simple hello

Sometimes all it takes for old wounds to heal is just a simple “hello”.

My maternal side of the family has lots of unhealed wounds, siblings rivalry etc etc. The list can go on, and these wounds have already existed for a long period of time, almost a generation already.

My grandpa is sick, hes been sick for a long time ever since suffering from a stroke. Hes been in and out of the hospital for the longest time. And because he has difficulty moving and is too weak to take care of himself, my aunties and uncles decided to place him in the care at an old folks home.

By the way, I hate that term, old folks home, it just sound so degrading, like some kind of dumpsters for throwing the old and the aged into.

Anyway, grandpa has lots of issues with his families, the emphasis is on the word families, not family. By that I mean he has a second wife. Thats probably his biggest mistake in life. Having 1 woman is already a headache much less 2.

I have never seen my step uncles, if thats wat I should call him, however I do hear lots of unglamorous comments that my mother and the rest of my aunties said about them. Apparently they are snobbish and unfilial and stuff like that.

So, it was quite an awkward situation when I came face to face with 1 of the “other” son during my grandpa’s hospitalization last night. Grandpa’s heart had already stopped but the docs managed to revive him and told us to be prepared for the worst.

So the entire family turned up at the hospital, waiting for the inevitable, including the other family.

It was awkward not just cos our family was face to face with the source of the long long held jealousy but also cos there were some very intense sibling rivalries between my third aunt and the rest of my aunties and uncles. Some petty stuff which escalate to something uncontrollable, where in the end, everyone forgot what was the source of the problem but just keep on disliking each other. Its all quite silly actually.

Yet when everyone gathered around grandpa’s room, 3 generations of us together, the dislike just kinda melted. We greeted each other civilly and bought each other meals. We joked and my aunties cried for their father.

What a sight.. I was touched actually. And yet I was sad at the same time.

Cos it seem the only moment when the entire family got united was when their father was dying..

How ironic..

~ by blurfroggie on October 15, 2008.

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