I am trying to put my thoughts into words here but for some reason, I can’t find anything that can truly express what I am thinking now.
To summarize, I suck. In anything I do. Simplicity at its best: I suck, period.
The more I think about it, the more it began to dawn upon me that I have never excel in anything that I venture into before.
School. Work. Personal relationships. Christ, I even suck in the games that I played!
This momentary self realization just get so much emphasized upon when I am alone and on bed thinking about the days of my life.
Thus, one can’t help wondering, why on earth was I given the chance to come into this world? When it seems that nothing I did is ever right, when I did not made any contribution at all? Why send another feeder or parasite to this world when its already been overpopulated? God, if there ever was one, already knows how strained it already is at the current situation, too much feeders, too little resources.
Sigh.. I am feeling like the cockroach that landed on my sister arm in the mid of the night, 2 nights ago. One that deserved to be exterminated on the spot, flattened, squashed and decapitated without a second thought. Another pest that only provides irritants and misery to everyone and anyone.
Anyway, that cockroach that woke my entire family up in the middle of the night at 3am was finally squashed by my father.